An Ode to the Woman we call Mum

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Beautiful, Precious, Priceless

Strong, Intelligent, Brave

Hardworking, Godfearing

Loving, Caring, Sharing

Selflessly Giving, Gracefully Living

Always Believing,

Inspite of her abundance or lack of substance,

she keeps loving, keeps giving, keeps correcting, keeps us warmed in her bosom.

She would gladly sacrifice her all for those she loves,

she could take a bullet, would not mind getting hurt if she has to do it to protect us.

A mentor, a sister, a close confidant and companion.

She has always been there for us,

we curled in her womb, cuddled on her chest, rocked in her arms, sucked on her breasts, grew strong from the meals she prepared.

She nursed us, hugged us, loved us, laughed with us, rejoiced with us, cried with us.

She will never cease to pray for us.

We are her pride, we are her joy,

She is our Mother.

This is an Ode to the woman we call Mum.

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Why settle for less…

 

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This is a no-holds-barred discourse for young women, waiting for the man of their dreams.

1) Define yourself; determine what you will or will not take, what standards and values you will not compromise on. I can tell a whole lot what you think about yourself by the kind of man you choose to be with. A girl who has low self confidence will give herself to any man at a huge discount.
You must stand up for yourself, appreciate your strengths, downplay your weakness and decide the level of life you want to play at.

2) Don’t be with someone at any level lower than where you are at, socially, educationally or economically except you are convinced of his potentials and you are sure without a doubt that he is bigger than the place where he currently is.

3) He must bring more to the table than you do; he mustn’t be dependent on you in any way. He must have a place to stay, drive his own car and pay his own bills, the day you start to prop him up that day you have in your hands a liability.
Don’t get me wrong here he doesn’t have to own a house or drive a car, however he shouldn’t be living in your apartment and driving the car you bought while you use public transport.
After you are married, of course he should be able to use your things, perhaps life deals him a hard blow and he needs time to recuperate, that’s fine. But before the marriage, before you say I do, make sure he is not using you as a crutch.

4) He must buy you gifts; this is a sure sign that he is seriously with you. Do not take the lack of money as an excuse. The thought of giving you a gift no matter how inexpensive it is, is what is most important. He must get you a gift on your birthday at least . Note that if he forgot your birthday its not a crime, some people are bad with dates so that’s fine. He can make it a belated birthday gift.

5) You must be proud to show him off to your family and friends, he could be short and fat and ugly but if you love him, you will be fine with his looks.

6) Don’t manage him ever; If you don’t really know if you love him and are just cordial to him, you are probably with him because you feel you are getting old. Well wine gets finer with age so who cares, ( flips weave). Its better to be 40 and have peace than be 30 and unhappy with broken ribs.

7) Let him be the one to impress you not the other way round; before you are married to him, you shouldn’t be the one trying to impress him, you are the queen, the princess, it is on you that the choice ultimately rests.
Now I am not saying that you should be high handed and rude. I am just saying be sure you are not doing for him, what he is supposed to do for you.

8) The people that matter most in your life should at least be comfortable with him, your parents and siblings and close friends.

9)  Remember that he will not change, the story of the princess kissing a frog and turning him into a prince is a fairytale.
If he beats you, gets drunk, flirts around, is irresponsible before you get married, he will be exactly the same man after the marriage.

10) There are good men around; don’t think the good men have finished and stick to one who treats you badly.  If he is treating you the way you do not want to be treated, don’t for once think that that is the way all men are. Be sure that he doesn’t have issues to deal with. If he was molested as a child, or came from a background of domestic violence the truth is that he will have issues to deal with. Be sure that you don’t want to live with the consequence of another person’s actions

Because you are special and you deserve the best.

So why settle for less…?

I’d like to know your thoughts on this article.

You are on to something great!

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Are you in a situation where you are just about to do something great or accomplish some dream that you have nursed in your heart and then all hell breaks loose around you?

Have you ever been hurt that no one seems to support your dreams or believe in your project and everywhere you turn there are roadblocks, oppositions and reasons to quit?

Have you ever been laughed at, arm twisted, made to feel insignificant? Have you ever felt like retreating into yourself because you were hurt by the other people’s opinion of your work?

If you have, I congratulate you.

Because that is a sign that you are unto something great. That is a sure sign that what you have in your hands is a winner.

You see, its like a stream flowing uphill; the natural course of life is downhill, and flowing with the tide is easy. When you decide to go against the tide, when you decide to take that bold step, to follow your heart, to go off the beaten path and discover new territories and have new dreams; then you are up for a fight.

You will have to stand up to life to demand your share of greatness, you must prove that you deserve no less.

You must fight and this is not a physical fight. It is a battle of the will, a battle of the mind. You must insist that success is your right.

If you are ever going to win, if you are ever going to achieve the extraordinary, be excited at oppositions. That is your proof that you are on the right track, that is a test to move you up to the higher class.

Rise to the occasion, the stones that stand on your path to obstruct you are actually platforms to lift you higher and get you to the top. Hold on and be strong.

Don’t you make the mistake of giving up!

So I congratulate you, on your resolve to be brave. Your dreams will see the light of day. And you will win, today and everyday.

Have a great week.

“It is not the …

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” Theodore Roosevelt

Where have you been all my life?

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During the weekend, I attended a bridal show. The bride to be was a childhood friend.

As I waited for the event to start, I leafed through her pre-wedding photo album.

In one of the really lovely pictures she took with her fiance, she had a questioning look in her eyes. Below that picture she scribbled “Where have you been all my life?”

“Oh my goodness”, I was bent in two, rolling in laughter.

“Before nko?” she pouted, smiling, “do you know how long I had been waiting for him?”

I had a vague idea, he took quite a while coming.

My friend was the ultimate matchmaker, with several weddings on her resume. It was amusing to see a girl who had been single so long help other people find life partners.

“So what about yours?” our friends would goad her.

“He hasn’t come yet, I am still waiting for him.”

She was an attractive girl who had numerous suitors, but none of them was ever The One.

We were concerned at a point that she was a perfectionist and would never make a choice.

“Being a single girl with numerous suitors, is sometimes confusing because of all the pressure everyone seems to bring on you. But its important to hold out your own and believe that God has only the best kept for you.” she shared with us during her bridal shower

“Patience is a great virtue, if I had met him two years back, I probably would not have been able to appreciate his person. I might have never looked in his direction and he probably didn’t need me at that point either. So regardless of how long it took us to find each other, he came at the right time”

You can read my thoughts on this here

Have a good week.